I had a big, bittersweet weekend at QuiltCon this year. I knew when I went that I was getting an award, my first judge’s award, which was exciting. Third place in the handwork category for my gold log cabin quilt covered in hand embroidered words. My other quilt in the show didn’t win a ribbon but it did get invited to travel with the exhibit that will be shown in multiple states and countries. Also exciting. I taught 4 classes, my first time teaching at QuiltCon. And I gave a lecture which went well from my perspective, and got a lot of positive feedback from attendees. Then on Sunday I found out my gold log cabin won People’s Choice, a huge honor. Ten years after winning it for my Goodnight quilt. I’m the first person in QuiltCon history to win this award twice. I always try to temper my expectations but I worked really hard on that quilt and I felt like it was special. So the recognition felt good. Lots of smiles, laughs with my friends, hugs, and accolades.
I got a lot of practice in “holding both.” I felt the loss of P keenly as I moved through the weekend and experienced joy along with a strong undercurrent of sadness. It felt unreal to have two quilts in the show that were so related to her, in opposite ways. Big Black Cloud about how hard things had been at home, even before she died. Jordan Year which had her name all over it, documenting the delight she brought me in just one year of our lives together.
If P was here, she would have peppered me with questions when I got back home. What were the people in my classes like? Did I like the quilts that won over mine, or did I think mine was better? Which quilt in the show was my favorite? Were any terrible? Were there any controversies this year? She always had lots of questions. Miss her. Wish I could tell her about my weekend and my ribbons and how I put my foot in my mouth at dinner with some quilting celebs.
I was able to have a little cry on the plane home thinking about her and her questions. It was good to finally cry some. Amy (therapist) said she wondered if it was also because it was the first time I was coming home from travelling and she wouldn’t be there. Maybe.
