5/5/25

I saw Amy today and told her about having to put down Sirius. She is always good at reminding me of what I did, how I tried. Even if I can’t emotionally feel that I did enough, I can rationally know that I did. I took him to the vet in November. They did bloodwork and couldn’t find anything. Persephone died. I was obviously preoccupied with that. After the move in March, I took him back to the vet to see, once again, if we could discover anything that would explain his symptoms. When they called back and said he had a mass, there’s not much we can do, just keep him comfortable, that’s what I did. I do feel like his physical symptoms (weight loss, loss of balance and coordination) were indicating that it was time, and I wish I had looked at the guidelines earlier. But he wasn’t visibly in distress until Saturday. And once that was happening, I acted basically immediately. Those are the facts. Looking at it from this lens, it’s hard to accuse myself of failing to do more. I appreciate Amy for always remembering what I did, and pointing out that I did try, and that my actions made sense. I need that.